4 In In the Stillness

Dare Not to Compare

I am so thrilled to have Ashley from “The Power of One Girl” guest posting for me today. Her message is so inspiring. Be sure to go visit her blog when you finish reading her amazing post!

Ashley is the founder of The Power of One Girl, where she blogs about inner and outer beauty tips for girls, mother and daughter relationships, and faith and life experiences to hopefully inspire others. Ashley is the director of the Miss Murray’s Outstanding Teen Pageant and an LDS youth speaker for young women groups. Empowering girls with strong self esteem and confidence is her passion and where she finds great happiness and purpose. She feels it is her mission to help girls to truly believe they are loved by their Father in Heaven, that this is where happiness and peace comes from. 

Comparison is EVERYWHERE!! We all do it and not just in the “I’m not good enough” phases we all go through at some point in our life, but in the prideful judgement phases we all pass through as well.

It took me forever to realize that comparing yourself to other people destroys everything you have to offer. You are different for a reason and if you embrace that, you will find that everything you ever needed or wanted was in you all along.

There are 3 types of comparison:

1. Feeling less than someone else

2. Feeling better than someone else {
AKA making a judgement or a prideful thought}

3. Comparing where you are now to your past

All three of these comparisons will tear you down and block you from the blessings Heavenly Father is trying to pour upon you. His blessings may be right in front of your eyes and if you may miss it because you don’t believe that you are enough. It’s also possible that your pride is getting in the way.
When I was in high school, I was the girl that had mastered comparison like it was nobody’s business. There was this girl, her name was Brynne; oh she was absolutely gorgeous in every way possible. Brynne had perfect hair, flawless skin, a huge crowd around her every day at lunch, she always had the perfect words to say, and she was a cheerleader. Words can’t comprehend how badly I wanted to be her, even if just for a day. I never felt good enough, smart enough, or pretty enough because I was always focused on who Brynne was and not on who Heavenly Father had created me to be. 

If I’ve learned anything about comparison, I’ve learned that Heavenly Father loves us all, as individuals more than we can possibly fathom. He loves us for who we are and He never compares us to one another. He always looks upon our hearts to see our intentions and to give us missions He deeply desires we would fulfill.

God made you who you are for a reason, someone is going to NEED you. There is no right or wrong way to doing things, there is just God’s way and what we do will touch others in the light only we can give. 

I have this amazing group of friends that I’m around often. Each one of these friends is their very own individual in countless ways but quite honestly, I’m usually the odd one out. I’m the one that doesn’t read as much as they all read, or watch all of the same YouTube videos as them. I don’t have all the witty jokes and puns to say right on cue like they do. At first this was really hard for me and I felt I needed to change if I wanted to fit in with these lovely friends whom I adore so much, but Heavenly Father stopped me and taught me something. He showed me that I bring something very different and unique to this group. My sweet and tender spirit and a bit of peace and gentleness to the group that is needed at times.

As I evaluate these amazing friends of mine, I have seen remarkable courage, love, and selfless acts in each of them on many different occasions. But they all display it in different ways. If I were to focus too much on what they have and what they bring to the group, I would be missing out on all the inner beauty that lies within me and the good I can do. Heavenly Father wants to use me in a different way than He wants to use them. Why???… Because different people touch different hearts. We can each reach and relate to another individual in a completely different way, a way that person is going to need it most. 

A few weeks ago, this lovely group of mine had a little get together that I wasn’t invited to. Have you ever felt left out and lonely? It hurts bad! But that morning I had said a prayer to Heavenly Father asking Him to show me He is in the details of my life. That same evening that I wasn’t invited with my normal group, an opportunity came up to go and do some service for an individual I knew whom was struggling to feel loved and like they had a place or a purpose. The person I was invited by told me a story that allowed me to see a role I had played that I had been overlooking. I’ve learned coincidences don’t exist, they just don’t. While I made the choice to feel left out and started to compare, wondering why I wasn’t good enough or loved enough to be invited on this particular evening, Heavenly Father taught me something. It wasn’t about me, it never had been. Comparing is selfish and conceited. It makes us focus on ourselves more than He would wish for us to. He needed me in another way and it had nothing to do with whether I was good enough for this particular group.

Heavenly Father is involved in the details of our life. It wasn’t a coincidence or the intention of my group of friends to leave me out, they probably had absolutely no clue how I felt. But that evening, Heavenly Father had other plans for me. He needed me to be somewhere else so I could make a difference in only the way I could. 

I have many countless experiences of feeling like I wasn’t enough or feeling left out, and I haven’t always been able to see the reason why as an end result. But in those moments, it’s the fear and doubt that are stopping the blessing from reaching your eyes and your heart. Loneliness is not the time to compare and find all the reasons of why you are not enough, it’s the moments Heavenly Father is trying to reach your heart and is asking for you to look to Him. He wants to speak to you about the plans He has for you and the missions He needs you to fulfill, will you listen?

Heavenly Father knows your heart and He knows exactly what you are capable of! If something isn’t working out the way you hoped it would, it’s okay! Heavenly Father doesn’t want you to compare because that allows doubt and fear to take over and then you will be distracted of the mission and purpose that is right in front of your eyes that He has prepared for YOU to fulfill. Only you can fulfill it! You hear this all the time but it’s in the simple things you will do that will allow you to come to know this truth for yourself. 

You weren’t ever meant to be a chameleon. You don’t want to blend in with the others and look like everyone else, these are satan’s desires for your life. Your individual worth is one of the greatest gifts you have. It’s your opportunity to fulfill your unique mission that is YOURS because of your talents, the words you speak, the letters you write, the prayers you pray, and the example you lead! No one else can fulfill YOUR mission for you! You most certainly can’t copy and compare yourself, wishing to become someone else if you’re actually going to fulfill your mission! Believe you have a mission, a daily mission, a mission that allows you to see the world in another way than you ever have before. When you discover what this daily mission is (and it will change) light and happiness will come to you and your self esteem will soar because you will finally be happy with who you are!

I challenge you, actually I dare you… no, I double dog dare you to stop comparing yourself to others, comparisons are ugly and pointless. It is satan’s greatest desire that we compare. We were born to lift each other up and how can we do that when we are envious and jealous and constantly thinking about if we have more or less than another. Don’t waste your thoughts wondering if you’re better off or worse off than others. You are a remarkable individual and I know without a doubt you have the potential within you to change this world!

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  • Elizabeth Rose
    April 1, 2015 at 12:25 am

    This post is so inspiring I absolutely loved it and it is exactly what I needed to hear today. thank you for sharing this post with me!

  • LeAnn
    April 1, 2015 at 11:31 pm

    This is a very inspiring post and I will hope that many read it and act upon the thoughts. I will pass this one along to uplift others.
    Sending hugs your way!

  • Miss Audrey Sue
    May 5, 2015 at 3:44 am

    just found your blog through Ashley Frederickson's, and i LOVE it! totally needed to read this tonight! thank you-comparing is the worst, and i agree with there being NO coincidences!! 🙂

  • Jamie Johnson
    May 14, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    Thank you for stopping by Miss Audrey Sue! You are welcome anytime!!